Firefox is great in a lot of ways. I mean, it did shake down IE pretty nice. And it’s got a cool icon. Not to mention the fact that it’s making everybody think about web standards again.
But, truth is, it’s a lame browser. Oh, quit yer whinging. You know it’s true. It’s a piece of software written by a huge collection of largely nameless geeks hell-bent on bitch-slapping Bill Gates. That’s cool and all, but there’s more to life. Like users. Here’s my list of why Firefox sucks. Fix this shit, geekboys, and you have my blessing.
- It’s slow. Like molasses in January. In the Yukon. In a record cold year. Start up time is in the achingly-painfully-mindnumbingly-long range of 10 seconds. If you have to wait that long for a mere web browser to get it’s act together, you know something’s wrong.
- It’s looks, acts and smells like a PC. Okay, there, now you know. I’m a Mac user. And that’s the problem. Firefox doesn’t conform to standard Mac OS behaviour. Which is ironic, I guess, considering it’s such a standards-bearing piece of software. It begs the question: where does the browser end and the OS begin? Take form elements as one example: they look like form elements from a Windoze box. It’s nasty. Those things are ugly.
- It doesn’t play nice with its host OS. Like, I wanna use the Mac OS keychain to store my passwords. I don’t want my web browser, which is as disposable piece of software as there is, to store important information for me. Why does Firefox want to store my passwords for me? Why are the geeks wasting their time writing yet-another-piece-of-software that already does what something I use and live by does, and does well. Don’t they have a PSP to play? Somebody get those Firefox coders a PSP so they can go get a life.
- You can alter the user experience. It’s like, come on, build a new plugin for my house so that every time I get up in the night to piss, the can’s in a different spot in the bathroom. What a great idea. A customizable web browser. Not. (Unless you’re a sado masochistic nerd.)
- Here’s the big one: it’s unstable. Yes it is. Yes it is. YES IT IS. If I had a dollar for every time this software locked me up and lost me data. I only use it as a browser because the host of my weblog (TypePad) makes me — why can’t they support other browsers? It’s as bad as Air Canada’s web site whinging about the fact I use Safari. Sheesh. Tonight I lost 20 minutes of blog entry typing to Firefox. Stabilize your software, Mozilla folk.
- It’s Netscape in disguise. Netscape lost. They suck. Don’t try to fool me with all the “Mozilla” silliness. Firefox is an attempt to legitimize the painful legacy of failure that is Netscape. I mean, come on, how could they let Mosaic come back under the guise of Microsoft and kick their ass? It’s a joke. And all you coders working for the common good of standards, give it up. It’s a joke. Go work for Microsoft and make some money.
Well, you can’t fix that last one, but there you have it. Some reasons why Firefox sucks. Now let’s see if I can get the locked up Firefox to regurgitate the post I was originally working on… (I’m using ecto for this one, by the way)