Browser Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

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A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…It is a period of civil war.
The rebel web browser, Firefox, has struck from secret basements around
the world. It has won the first battle against the evil Microsoft
Empire.

During the battle, rebel developers managed to undermine the Empire’s ultimate weapon, Internet Explorer, a web browser with more holes in it than a Tatooine outhouse.

Pretty funny, eh?

Well, if you’re a geek, I guess. But the epic tale of Star Wars does correspond well to the ongoing and woeful tale of Internet web browsers.

The web browser is that piece of software on your computer you use to look at things on the web. Internet Explorer is the best known one. Netscape, Firefox and Safari are a few others.

To most people they’re like wallpaper. Always there, and not anything spectacular. But to folks who make their living off the web, well, look out.

Y’know, with regular folks you don’t talk politics in public. With geeks it’s web browsers. Don’t diss somebody’s favourite or light sabers are likely to be drawn.

The history of web browsers really is a lot like the long, torrid tale of Star Wars. But I’ll spare you the gory details and put it this way: in the beginning there was Netscape, and then Microsoft came along and beat the snot out of them.

And ever since then we’ve had galactic peace and harmony.

Whoa, guys, hold on out there. I’m moving on with the story, alright? You should see this. There’s a herd of pocket protectors laying siege on the CBC right now. What’d I tell you about this browser thing, eh?

The fact is, we haven’t had peace and harmony since Microsoft seized top spot in the browser pecking order. It’s more like the storm troopers are out enforcing a false sense of security. And blasting away anyone who dares disparage the Empire.

Well, look out, folks. The upstart Firefox, a true rebel force if there ever was one, recently delivered a pretty forceful blow to the buttocks area of the evil Microsoft Empire. And Microsoft has declared all out war.

So, batten down the land speeders and make sure your droids are fully charged. This new Browser War is gonna raise some serious dust. And when it settles, well who knows what the landscape’s gonna look like.

I just hope it doesn’t turn out that the guy who invented Firefox is Bill Gates son or anything like that. It’d just be too weird.

I’m Andrew Robulack.