starbucks’ moral message

Recently, I complained to Starbucks head office. The brewhouse was constantly fucking up my regular drink order. (Not too mention I often found myself waiting more than 10 minutes to get the wrong drink.)

My preferred Starbucks drink order? A quad-grande, half-full Americano.

The problem was, the baristas would tend to fill my cup to the brim, which produced a vile, watery beverage that too closely resembled Nabob.

So it was fitting that, in coupon form, this response arrived from Starbucks today:

half full americano coupon

Apparently it should never be half full either.