A Farmer Revisits His Old Hometown

By guest columnist Foghorn Lee Jones

Howdy there, stranger!

I’ve been away from these parts for a while, and I’ve just come back for a howdedoo.

I can see not much has changed in the Village of Cable TV since I’ve been gone.

You still watch your shows on someone else’s schedule.

Those annoying commercials still pollute your mind.

And that on-screen channel guide is still as ugly as a cowboy’s teeth after 20 years of chew. Truly, it’s got a face only a spreadsheet-masochist could love.

I just do not know how you put up with all that hooey.

Gosh darn, it’s like living in a shack out back of your parents’ farmhouse, getting bossed around with all these ridiculous rules, and curfews, and sanctimonious sermons. Continue reading